It is so easy to lose focus, which can lead to lost motivation and not achieving goals. It has been an entire year since I filmed my finale. I have done a lot of thinking on HOW I got big and HOW I lost weight and it all comes down to what and WHO I focus on.
For me, relationships are a huge part of what makes me tick... relationships with God, my son, friends, family, co-workers, people at church... etc. I have found out about myself that I stay in unhealthy relationships (friendships or romantic relationships) too long before I take care of me, walk away and refocus. Unhealthy relationships are tied to food for me, and as weird as it sounds - that is how I can gauge how a friendship or a romantic relationship is going... if I binge or restrict my food more around a person, or I feel like the way they perceive me or talk about me is negative... I lose focus... I go on a rabbit trail of pleasing that person and step out of what I need to be focusing on. On the other side of that coin, I have amazing and supportive friends and family and cast mates that keep me on track... and during my year of transformation, that circle was very small. It was only a few that could handle me on low carb days and my crazy workout schedule.
So PRESENT DAY, I got out of a very unhealthy romantic relationship (that I stayed in too long), I am focused on my relationship with God, but I have realized that I need to make my circle smaller. I need to invest in my son, WHO IS GOING TO BE A SENIOR NEXT YEAR!! (insert moment of panic), I need to nurture the healthy relationships in my life and allow the not so healthy ones to fade. I need to focus on not being such a "people pleaser" just to hang on to relationships that aren't healthy anyway.
Going back to tools from the show - Dr. Holly had us make a list of 3 types of people 1. People that are in your life that are positive and healthy for you, 2. People that HAVE to be in your life (like bosses, family members) that aren't so healthy for you and 3. People that are not positive or healthy for you that you do not need in your life. This exercise was very eye-opening for me then, and I am going to use it again. INVEST IN AND NURTURE the people under category 1, LIMIT TIME AND ENERGY on people in category 2 and CUT OUT the people under category 3. It sounds a little harsh huh? But truthfully, you have to save yourself first. By doing that exercise I was able to focus my energy and attention on those in my life that were there because they were genuine. And focus on my own health so I could help others. To be honest, I wish I would have done this list exercise more over the last year and saved myself some "rabbit trails".
My new commitment is to do this exercise. Prioritize. FOCUS on my priorities. Set goals and hit them. My priorities are going back to basics. 1. God 2. Mason 3. Me 4. Everything else. It is OK and VERY HEALTHY to WORRY ABOUT YOURSELF BEFORE EVERYTHING ELSE!!!! I lost sight of this many times in my life (including this past year) and jumped through hoops for others (even at my own expense) in an attempt to "rescue" or "help" those that didn't even ask for it or want it. My "people pleasing" became a roadblock. TIME TO REFOCUS!!! :)
xoxo,
Pearls